COMEDY

My Portfolio of Internet Humor

Welcome to my portfolio of comedy pieces published various places online!

COMEDY ARTICLES

Noah Says He Maybe Shouldn’t Have Brought Chlamydia Along On The Ark

Spinoffs Considered For Characters From TV’s “The Office”

The Internet’s 25 Dumbest Personal Essays

Lauren Boebert's Tinder Profile Was Just Found

The Aqueduct New Deal Will Destroy Rome

Elisha From The Bible Explains Why He Made 2 Bears Maul 42 Children

Laws Women Would Write If They Were As Sexist As Men

Allen Ginsberg's "Howl," For The GenXers Who Voted In Trump

A Homophobic Televangelist Claims His Gay Sex Tape Is “All A Big Misunderstanding”

I'm Beginning to Suspect My Cult Leader Isn't Committed to Transcending Existence Tomorrow

Plots Of Famous Books If They Were About Donald Trump

Pretentious Artspeak For Juvenile Graffiti

A.I. Breakthrough Has Translated The Orca Language, And Found Many Slur Words For Humans

I Was The Waiter At The Last Supper, And They Were An Awful Table

QAnon Just Started A Writers’ Workshop For Internet Trolls

A Newly Discovered STD Was Just Named After Donald Trump

There’s A New Toy Trend For Christian Girls: “Fetus Dolls”

A Day In The Life Of Our New Co-President, Elon Musk

Corporate Slogans Updated To Ensure They Aren’t In Any Way Problematic

Elective Classes Offered At The University Of Self-Destructive Wokeness

Jesus Wants To Know Why “Christians” Aren’t Jewish

10 Tips For Donald Trump On How To Avoid Raping Women

An Alien’s Advice For Humans’ Evolutionary Defects

A Casual Reminder That These Are The Lyrics To The Ramones’ “Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue”

McDonalds Fans Say Grimace Has Betrayed The Body Positivity Movement After Losing 250 Pounds

Attention Everyone: Rebecca Is Taking A Break From Social Media

Come Pick And Choose At The Christian Cafeteria

Facebook’s Algorithm Is Ruining Everyone’s Life (Except Mine Because I Only Get Puppy Videos)

A Letter From The Frontline Of The War On Christmas

My Baby Boomer Mom’s Resolutions For 2024

The Office: Coronavirus Special

Republican House Majority BINGO

All The Dead Presidents' Ghosts Are Haunting The White House

Guess The US President By His Slutty Pickup Line

Check out my Dada News book “Satire In The Trump Years: The Best Of The Halfway Post.” It’s a retrospective on four years of comedy by America’s most halfway real news source. Here’s its Amazon link:

Satire In The Trump Years: The Best Of The Halfway Post

Subscribe to my Substack newsletter The Halfway Café to stay up to date with my mind and keep up with my writing studio’s output:

The Halfway Cafe

Follow me on Twitter, Threads, Spoutible, or Post.News to interrupt your daily doomscrolling with Dada news, and follow me here on Medium for more of my comedy or become a Medium member to support me and your other favorite writers.

Check out my book “Satire In The Trump Years: The Best Of The Halfway Post,” available on Barnes & Noble and Amazon.

Also check out my poetry book Cabaret No Stare, available in print and on Kindle.

Browse my comedy portfolio, my Dada news portfolio, and my poetry portfolio.