Jesus Wants To Know Why “Christians” Aren’t Jewish

Dash MacIntyre
8 min readSep 25, 2023
Photo by Zachary Olson on Unsplash

Jesus Christ returned today 2,000 years after His crucifixion, and, following a brief look around Earth, apparently got angry at what he saw.

“What the f*ck is a Christian?” Jesus demanded. “When did I say you didn’t have to be Jewish? Oh, that’s right, I didn’t! I’m a Jew! I ate only boring, kosher food, and I skipped out on eating shrimp and pork, and I never ate the fat of…

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Dash MacIntyre

Comedian, political satirist, and poet. Created The Halfway Post. Check out my comedy book Satire In The Trump Years, and my poetry book Cabaret No Stare.