Two Of Donald Trump’s Chefs Tell All About His Disturbing Eating Habits

Photo by Benjamin Brunner on Unsplash

Chefs Abe Pleisher and Howie Carin from Donald Trump’s Mar-a-Lago resort just quit their jobs after six months, and conducted a tell-all interview about the “absurd” things they witnessed on the job:

• Trump would order a meal he called “The Donald” from McDonalds most days for lunch, and McDonalds employees knew what it meant: three Big Mac sandwiches cooked well-done with 15 packets of ketchup, two Filets-O-Fish, and an M&M McFlurry with all the brown M&Ms removed.
• Trump loves to reach across the table during meals and eat off of other people’s plates to assert his dominance over them.
• Trump forbids his chefs to bring him any foods that are green in color so he never has to eat a vegetable.
• When Stephen Miller dines with Trump, he meticulously takes off all the skin of his fried chicken with a knife and fork in as big of pieces as possible, and takes it home with him in bags for unspecified reasons.
• Trump likes to go into the kitchen before dinners and spit in his guests’ food, and he makes the staff sign non-disclosure agreements about it when they first get hired.
• To look strong and tough in front of other people, Trump likes to send back the dishes brought to him with some complaint about it not being prepared right, and the servers know to just wait in the kitchen for a couple minutes before bringing back the same exact plate with no changes made.
• When dining with businessmen, Trump always says the same joke while ordering: “I’d like a chicken breast sandwich, hold the chicken.”
• The chefs have learned to always double everything Trump orders because of how often he hears bad news about his criminal investigations, indictments, and civil lawsuits, and then throws his plates against the wall in a fury smearing ketchup everywhere.
• Trump loves eating mini-cupcakes, baby carrots, and burger sliders because his hands look bigger holding them.
• Trump tells his waiters every single meal, “Don’t worry, I’m going to treat you right on the tip,” and stiffs them.
• Trump forbids anyone from praying before meals or blessing the food, and, even when someone tries to pray, Trump will just start eating his fried chicken while moaning to himself, and then interrupt the prayer to explain to the table how a lot of people don’t know this but it’s actually healthy to cut out red meat a couple times a week and eat an entire fried chicken instead.
• Trump sneaks into the kitchen and sprinkles ground up weight-loss pills onto the food of any female staffers, diplomats, or world leaders he thinks “would look hotter if they lost 15 pounds.”
• Trump eats pizzas made with ketchup for the sauce once a week
• When Republican members of Congress come to Mar-a-Lago asking for his endorsement, he makes them eat lasagna until they throw up on their children’s heads to earn it.
• Trump once told a group of Black Congressional Republicans that he can’t be racist because chocolate ice cream is his favorite flavor.
• Trump invites Don Jr. and Eric to dinners he hosts with his business partners, but makes them sit at a separate “kids table.”
• Every time Ivanka walks by while he’s eating, Trump takes out his dentures, grabs the most phallic-shaped food on his plate, and then simulates the teeth giving a blowjob to the phallic-shaped food to try to amuse the people he’s dining with.
• Trump forbids his chefs to ever serve him any form of sausage because of how often people compare sausage to his fingers.
• Trump often comments to dinner guests that global warming can’t be real because ice cream still exists.
• Trump leaves lipstick stains on all the straws he uses.
• Trump goes through a 20-oz ketchup bottle every week.
• Trump changes into stretchy pants before every meal because he says buttons are “rigged against him.”
• Every night Trump eats three servings of the dinner’s dessert, and tells the table “I’m never like this, I can’t believe how bad I’m being tonight.”
• Trump once was accidentally served a glass with regular Coke in it instead of his customary Diet Coke, and he demanded to be taken to Walter Reed Hospital immediately to get his stomach pumped.

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