Trump Voters Just Aren’t Assimilating Into American Culture

Dash MacIntyre
4 min readNov 20, 2023
Credit: Anthony Crider via Flickr / CC BY-SA 2.0

In what is increasingly becoming a problem for our national identity as American citizens, Donald Trump’s biggest MAGA fan voters are outright refusing to assimilate into America’s longstanding culture of tolerance, multiculturalism and diversity. Instead, they’re choosing to keep to their insularly extremist customs of ethno-nationalism, apocalyptic Evangelism, and desired monarchy.

So I went to a diner in St. Louis to see what average, “Real America” residents think about the MAGA movement’s radicalism.

“I try really hard not to use the words ‘these people,’ but I can’t help but notice that too many Trump supporters are not sharing our traditional American values,” explained Mark Trail, 56. “They yell at ethnic minorities in public, they protest Jews in the streets, their number of hate crimes are way on the rise, they’re always stockpiling guns and ammo to prepare for another potential civil war, and they just plain have hate in their hearts for America and the great variety of Americans who live here. These people just don’t want the same kinds of things that real Americans want. Oh, dear, I used that phrase again. But MAGA lovers are always promoting greater discrimination against women, religious exclusivity, and the unConstitutional, totalitarian tendencies of Donald Trump. I hate how it makes me sound like I don’t think Trump supporters are welcome here, but at a certain point I just believe they have to make a greater effort to adapt more to our culture. If they’re going to live here in America long-term, they could try to be a little more like us, couldn’t they? Maybe they could treat women better, keep their more oppressive thoughts to themselves, and be less extremist about their ideological beliefs. Maybe adopt more of our cultural values, you know? I’m worried that, if they keep having kids and growing in numbers, it won’t be long before I don’t even recognize America anymore.”

Other citizens expressed discomfort with MAGA fans’ clothing customs.

“Those bright red MAGA hats just make me worry every time I see one out in public,” said Sarah Heller, 43. “And their other clothing customs, like the ‘Let’s Go Brandon’ shirts, and the ‘F*ck Joe Biden’ shirts. I don’t understand why they would cover themselves that way with that kind of oppressive, abrasive symbolism. And what’s the deal with all this QAnon stuff? It seems so fundamentalist the way they follow their prophet so blindly. I wish they’d stop trying to make us all live according to their Q-ria Law. That’s just not how we do things here in America, and their ‘FJB’ clothing is a daily reminder of how different they are. Can’t they dress like we do if they’re going to live in our country? Do they have to throw their foreignness in our faces like that? When I see one in the grocery store, or some other public place, it’s, like, are they going to commit a hate crime or insurrection right there in front of me? When I see a MAGA hat now, I reach into my purse and put my pepper spray in my hand. I get myself ready in case they try to do some terrorist insurrection or election fraud right there in the grocery store!”

Trump supporters’ lack of respect for democracy is another concern.

“From the way they view the world, I can tell they don’t care much for our civic principles and traditions,” worried Hank Banderhoff, 29. “I don’t think they understand or appreciate our Constitution and laws. I worry they’re not fully willing to be loyal to our country. The way they take photos of themselves holding up their religious books, Trump flags, and guns is very upsetting. Their rhetoric is always threatening violence against our government and our elected officials. This may be a little conspiratorial, but I think they’re trying to subvert us from within. ‘United we stand, divided we fall’ is our national motto, but I can’t help but see clues that they’re plotting against us to transform our government into an authoritarian dictatorship, or at least some form of theocracy. I mean, you can’t help but notice that they’re very pushy about their religious beliefs, and they refuse to abide by our election laws, and of course they’re raising their kids with their extreme ideology to hate America and our democracy. Unfortunately, this is an issue that will last for generations. I know America is a great melting pot, but I’m afraid MAGA Trump voters might just be too different to blend in!”

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Dash MacIntyre
Dash MacIntyre

Written by Dash MacIntyre

Comedian, political satirist, and poet. Created The Halfway Post. Check out my comedy book Satire In The Trump Years, and my poetry book Cabaret No Stare.

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