Spinoffs Considered For Characters From TV’s “The Office”
Stories of your favorite characters from The Office continuing before and after the TV show’s timeline.
Dwight, Drug Lord
Dwight and Mose turn their beet farm into a marijuana farm, which starts a turf war with the local Scranton Amish weed cartel. Dwight’s ragtag team of misfit friends, including Rolf, Trevor and his sensei Ira, form a cartel of their own called “The Beet Boys,” and they gradually divide and conquer the fertile farm country of north-eastern Pennsylvania through a combination of Dwight volunteering again as a deputy’s sheriff to obstruct justice and bribe Scranton PD officers to look the other way, Rolf’s acts of anarchist terrorism, and Trevor clumsily kneecapping potential snitches. Meanwhile, Angela’s ex-husband, disgraced former State Senator Robert Lipton, vows he’ll stop at nothing to bring down Dwight’s growing drug empire. When some police officers on Dwight’s payroll refuse to act on Lipton’s incriminating evidence against Rolf, he takes it upon himself to protect Scranton from the Beat Boys vigilante-style, and starts sneakily sabotaging their marijuana fields and distribution supply chains. Convinced Lipton’s actions might be the infamous Rübegänger, a beet monster of Medieval German folklore, expressing its fury at Dwight for forsaking his family’s centuries-long dependence on beets for subsistence and success, Dwight is torn between abandoning his birthright vegetable, and finally getting the power, respect, and money he has long felt he deserves following years of always being “Assistant to the Manager” and never the manager himself. Dwight gradually devolves into madness as he struggles to maintain power, stay always one step ahead of an incorruptible detective, and outmaneuver rival factions of the Amish and Pennsylvania Dutch to become Scranton’s next top weed baron. There’s also a will-they-stay-together-won’t-they love arc with Angela, who doesn’t approve of Dwight’s cut-throat weed business, but finds herself irresistibly attracted to his power and eager for her son Phillip to grow up with a strong, Christian respect for paternal authority.
Crypto Queen Kelly
Kelly unwittingly buys into a baby-themed pump-and-dump cryptocurrency scam called “Mixed Babies Bucks” that Ryan started to steal her $1,000 work bonus. When she finds out, she posts a video on social media of herself berating Ryan for 12 minutes about the dishonest scheme and all the other times he has wronged her, cheated on her, and treated her like dirt that goes insanely viral, and massively inflates the value of Mixed Babies Bucks, turning Kelly into a crypto millionaire overnight. Ryan, desperate to get some of the money, apologizes and then proposes to her, and she refuses unless he works as her unpaid intern slave for a full year to prove he’s not just trying to be a gold digger. The power goes to her head, and she begins to verbally abuse and humiliate Ryan daily on TikTok, and in public while hanging out with all the new Silicon Valley friends she makes thanks to her wealth. When invited to pitch ideas for investors, she blanks on ideas for herself, so she describes WUPHF.com, Ryan’s previous idea for a social media tool that sends your texts to every messaging platform at once. The investors are intrigued and agree to fund its creation as an app, and it takes off wildly with Gen Z kids. Kelly then becomes a billionaire and tech culture titan once again overnight, which infuriates Ryan to no end. Because Kelly has no actual interest in the nuts and bolts of the site, she embarrasses herself in a news interview answering a simple question about its interface, and realizes she needs Ryan’s help to fake it ‘till she makes it. Ryan agrees to help her, and commits himself to plotting his revenge with a scheme to swindle Kelly out of her money, and prove to all the tech bros that WUPHF was his idea, and he’s really one of them. Unfortunately for him, Kelly’s bumbling, blissful ignorance keeps narrowly foiling Ryan’s efforts in ways that make him further humiliated in the tech world’s social milieu, and further dependent on Kelly’s increasingly disgusted pity.
Pam’s Prequel Story
Pam’s art career in college takes off wildly when Saudi Arabian princes decide they want to find a random, unknown artist to be a conveniently naive front for money-laundering their blood money and various payoffs to criminals and assassins. Her art starts auctioning for impressive sums, but, as she attends art world parties and galas financed by the Saudis to launder their reputations, she discovers some nefarious collusion by several oligarchic groups involved in arms-dealing, terrorism, and sanctions violations. She contacts the CIA, who with great difficulty convince her to spy on these global criminals and disrupt their operations while going to all of their art galas. When a murderous Saudi prince scares her with his interest in her work, she’s relieved to find out he would like her to teach his precocious 12-year-old son how to paint at his house. She discovers the son has dreams of a liberal, democratic and gender-fair nation, and the two work together, backed by CIA logistics and intel as well as a swaggering case officer who regularly pushes Pam well beyond her comfort zone, to record evidence of all the oligarchs’ crimes. At the end, Pam’s cover is blown, and imprisoned Saudi officials vow to find her and get revenge so she must go into hiding. The CIA finds a receptionist job at a paper company in Scranton, Pennsylvania for her to safely start a new life.
Prison Mike… In Prison
Toby finally gets revenge for all the years Michael tormented him by elaborately framing Michael in a Scranton Strangler homicide. Michael is sentenced to life-in-prison for all of the Strangler’s former murders, and Holly divorces him. Michael is distraught that he won’t get to see his kids grow up. In order to survive prison, Michael adopts his “Prison Mike” persona, and it does not go well for him until his efforts to start a prison improv group ingratiates him with the other prisoners, who find his penchant for bringing guns into every scene charming. Michael becomes a celebrity in the prison, and his well-meaning but doofus sincerity slowly wins over even the most toxically masculine gang leaders. When Toby is eventually caught as the real Scranton Strangler, Michael is freed to return to his family, but, before he leaves, he promises his prison improv buddies that in ten years he’ll buy them all yachts when they get out, which a local newspaper promotes with a cover story honoring Michael’s generosity with the headline “Scott’s Yachts.”
Kevin The Mobster
Kevin gets deep into gambling debt with some of the regulars at the bar he owns, who turn out to be in the mob. After an initial scare that he’s going to be whacked, Kevin cooks the mobsters his famous chili recipe as a peace offering, but spills it all over the floor of the bar. The mobsters find this hilarious as Kevin desperately tries to scoop it into his pot, slipping and sliding around in the mess, and they decide to forgive Kevin’s debts, and not murder him in exchange for a cut of the bar’s profits. While going over Kevin’s financial books, they’re impressed by Kevin’s invention of the number “kelevin,” and they have Kevin teach it to the other mobsters’ accountants. Kevin is fully accepted into the mob family, and they start conducting all their business in Kevin’s bar. When they need Kevin’s help on an illicit job, he bungles his responsibilities, and, through a series of absurd coincidences, he unintentionally saves the mobsters’ lives and makes the job a very lucrative success. The mob boss decides Kevin is his “good luck charm,” and starts bringing Kevin along on all their ventures, for which Kevin continues to clumsily and inadvertently make successful in increasingly outlandish ways.
Stanley And Creed, Florida Retirees
Stanley finally resettles in Florida, and is living his retired dreams when a new neighbor moves next door, and he’s astounded to discover the new neighbor is Creed, who has escaped from prison and has an always unexplained but vaguely hinted at illicit fortune of $15 million he needs help laundering. Together they start a swamp tour business for faking cash profits, and are quickly living the good life. Then, on the same day that the FBI launches an investigation and offers Stanley immunity for flipping on Creed, several female members of the cult that Creed had formerly been the leader of find him in preparation for the end of the world Creed had casually claimed a decade ago would be in one year from the present. Creed, who says being a cult follower is much more fun than being the leader, claims Stanley has been his longtime prophet, and Stanley is pleasantly surprised when Creed reveals that his former group had been very much a sex cult. Suddenly in charge of the cult, flush with cash, and considered a sex god by a dozen young women, Stanley decides to lead the FBI on a wild chase while professing the imminent doom of humanity to his followers. 🥃
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