DO YOUR JOB

Questions Journalists Should Demand Trump Answer

And not let him evade, lie, or stall to get out of answering.

(Official White House photo by Tia Dufour | via Flickr.com | Public Domain CC 1.0)

1. Do you think your rape conviction will make it difficult to hire competent and qualified women in your next administration?
2. Are you worried Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump have already ratted you out for an immunity deal because they got a ludicrous amount of money from the Saudi government and don’t want to jeopardize it with potential prison time?
3. What did you do throughout your childhood that your parents gave up raising you and sent you to a military academy, but none of your siblings?
4. Are you ever concerned that Steve Bannon has been promoting you to use you as a useful idiot in furtherance of his anarchist goals of dismantling the US government?
5. Why a nickname so stupid as “Ron DeSanctimonious” when even blue-haired, Woke, Gen Z communists are disappointed and know you can do better than that?
6. You’ve been #MeToo-ed more than anyone in America, how does it feel to revolt so much of America?
7. Can you explain what you would do to end the war in Ukraine in one day like you claimed you could, in detail, without avoiding the question because you’re a notorious exaggerator and liar who no longer gets the benefit of the doubt that your vague and tall-tale promises of ability have any basis in reality.
8. Why do you think historians have ranked you at the bottom of their lists of best presidents higher only than the helpless presidents directly preceding the Civil War?
9. Why do you suppose your own chief of staff, John Kelly, called you “the most flawed person I have ever met in my life,” and your secretary of state Rex Tillerson called you a “moron” who often wanted to do illegal things?” Could you also explain what you wanted to do that Tillerson thought was illegal?
10. You never really had an Obamacare replacement plan, did you?
11. If you had to guess, how many nondisclosure agreements have you paid for?
12. Do you regret not paying contractors who worked for you and then had to go out of business, and then their families suffered from losing income?
13. If you were going to flee America, would you move to Moscow, Riyadh, or Pyongyang?
14. Has Ivanka ever asked you to stop saying creepy thing about her body in public?
15. If you could go back knowing what you know now, would you still name Don Jr. after yourself?
16. Why do you tell so many “Sir” stories when we all know that’s a poker tell of yours that the story is made up?
17. Why do you say “People are talking” so much when we all know that’s a poker tell of yours that you’re making something up?
18. What was the biggest lie you ever got away with?
19. You failed utterly to make a legitimate peace deal with Kim Jong-un, but you made such a big deal and spectacle about going there to shake his hand and bragging that you can make deals with anyone that you can’t admit you were out of your depth, got played, and have since been oddly calling him your “lover” to distract from the reality that you accomplished nothing for America’s national security interests, didn’t you?
20. Will you take this high school civics exam right now on camera?
21. Do you really think you’re fooling us with the hair, makeup, and shoe lifts?
22. Did your father ever call you a loser, and what did you do that provoked him?
23. What compelled you to randomly call reporters in the 80s and just make up lies about famous celebrities asking you out on dates?
24. Why should Americans believe you really won the 2020 election after polls consistently showed you behind Biden for the entire election, your approval ratings were among the worst in history for most of your presidency, a majority of Americans thought your COVID policies led to tens of thousands of preventable deaths, suburban white women were appalled by your cruel governmental policies and personal conduct, a plethora of Republican candidates outperformed you in ways that make it obvious Democrats didn’t cheat to make you lose but merely forgot to make their Senate and House candidates win, and you and your family are just weird, sociopathic freaks who are bad at pretending you care about other people?
25. When is Barron’s birthday?
26. When is Melania’s birthday or your wedding anniversary?
27. What is Tiffany’s job?
28. Do you regret not being more present in your children’s lives?
29. Many people who have worked with you, including a staffer of your show The Apprentice claim you wear diapers, and that filming was at times stalled when you had to go for a change. Would you like to prove those rumors wrong right now by pulling your pants down a little?
30. What blackmail do you have on Lindsey Graham? Ignore every other question and just answer this one PLEASE!

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