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Senator Burt Winthrop Died 6 Years Ago, But Still Selfishly Won’t Retire
Burt Winthrop, the Republican senior senator from Iowa, is holding his 43rd annual “Summer FUNdraiser” this weekend in the Iowan capital city, but turnout is expected to be the lowest in years on account of the senator being dead for 6 years.
His campaign staffers are planning the typical events of years past, including crowd favorites like the homemade chili competition, an arts and crafts auction, and a blow-up air castle for kids.
However, many critics have expressed frustration with Winthrop’s continued campaigns, while wondering privately if it isn’t time for Mr. Winthrop to finally retire. The debate whether having a seasoned veteran in the Senate outweighs the benefits of having a physically alive senator gets fiercer every year.
“Don’t get me wrong, everyone here in Des Moines loves Burt, but, even if he wasn’t dead, he’d be 103 years old,” said Marty Reed, 38, a Des Moines resident who has been going to Winthrop’s FUNdraisers since he was a toddler. “I just think it’s time for a fresh face to represent Iowa in Congress. Someone who can walk themself into the Senate and raise their own hand for votes instead of being rolled around in a wheelchair and held erect by an elaborate system of ropes and pulleys.”
