Mike Lindell Claims Democrats Paid “Mole People” To Bury Trump Ballots

Dash MacIntyre
4 min readJul 27, 2022
Photo by Gage Skidmore

MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell is back in the news claiming election fraud in the 2020 election.

This time, Lindell is accusing Democrats of making an alliance with an underground race of Mole People, and paying them to steal Trump ballots and hide them underground.

The following are various quotes Lindell made during an unhinged interview he did with the conservative news outlet The Armed Freedom Eagle News Network:

  • “The Democrats stole this election from Donald Trump, and I’m going to prove it. I’ve spent hundreds of thousands of dollars of my pillow profits to travel to Wisconsin, Michigan, Georgia, Arizona, and Pennsylvania to set all kinds of elaborately designed traps and nets to catch a Mole Person so I can get a confession out of him. I haven’t caught a Mole Man yet, but, as soon as I do, Sean Hannity told me I can bring the Mole Man onto his show for a live, public interrogation!”
  • “I have it on good authority that the Mole People have dug several holes through the center of the earth that connect America to China on the other side of the globe. So that’s why the Democrats thought it would be a perfect crime to steal bags of Trump ballots and toss them into the holes so some Chinese people could catch it on the other side and dispose of them. But Democrats left clues, and that’s why we’ve found very tiny bamboo fibers on some of the Biden ballots in the swing states. It appears that the bamboo fibers fell off the clothes of some of the Mole People going back and forth between China and the US to facilitate the theft!”
  • “Folks, it’s just how gravity works. You throw a burlap sack of Trump ballots into the big hole, and it picks up velocity as it descends through the mantle, outer core, and inner core of the Earth, and it gets going so fast that it slingshots through to the other side all the way to Xi Jinping!”
  • “If the core of the Earth is filled with hot, liquid magma, how do the Mole People go back and forth between America and China? The Marxist leftists have no explanation for that!”
  • “I myself have seen some grainy photos of Mole People that coal miners have taken. The Mole People 100% exist, and they helped perpetrate the greatest election fraud in…

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Dash MacIntyre

Comedian, political satirist, and poet. Created The Halfway Post. Check out my comedy book Satire In The Trump Years, and my poetry book Cabaret No Stare.