Ken Starr Says If Donald Trump Had Blackmailed Zelensky For a Blowjob, His Impeachment Trial Would Have Been “Totally Different”

Dash MacIntyre
3 min readMay 27, 2022
Photo by Gage Skidmore, his site here

More than a year after Donald Trump’s impeachment trial, the former President’s lawyer Ken Starr, infamous for leading the carnival show that was President Bill Clinton’s impeachment trial over lying about a blowjob, was asked by reporters how Trump was less deserving of removal from office than Clinton.

“It’s actually quite simple,” explained Starr to a Fox News correspondent. “If Trump had extorted the Ukrainian government in order to receive oral sex from President Zelensky, and then directed his administration and political allies to cover up the sexual quid pro quo by obstructing a Congressional investigation into the sex-related bribery, then it would be a crime worthy of impeachment. Instead, all President Trump did was use his public office to extort the Ukrainian government toward concocting a fake investigation into his political opponent for personal gain. While what President Trump did may sound bad and illegal, the precedent I set in the Clinton impeachment trial was that the only crimes worthy of impeachment involve sperm stains. Same deal with the Mueller Investigation. Had Trump given Vladimir Putin a blowy joey, we’d have quite a case of oral collusion on our hands. Instead, Trump merely asked Putin several times…

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Dash MacIntyre

Comedian, political satirist, and poet. Created The Halfway Post. Check out my comedy book Satire In The Trump Years, and my poetry book Cabaret No Stare.