PRAY TO TRUMP?

Is Donald Trump Thinking About Starting A Televangelist Church?

Trump believes a church would earn him easy money.

Dash MacIntyre
3 min readSep 13, 2022

--

Photo by Daniel Tseng on Unsplash

There is tension brewing in the televangelist community as Former President Donald Trump is reportedly looking into launching a televangelist ministry to raise money to pay off his substantial personal debts and lawyer fees.

Yesterday there was reportedly a meeting of The Commission, a mafia-esque conglomeration of the five major televangelist families headed by Joel Osteen, Kenneth Copeland, Creflo Dollar, Jim Bakker, and Pat Robertson, and these five mega rich televangelists discussed how to respond to Trump’s potential entrance into the televangelist racket.

“Kenneth Copeland immediately wanted to kneecap Trump to send him a message,” explained an insider informant, who would only discuss the meeting under anonymity for fear of his life, “but Joel Osteen cautioned patience. He pointed out that Trump has failed at pretty much everything he has ever done, from Trump Steaks and Trump Airlines to being just a one-term president, and he said that The Commission members’ fears that Trump’s competition might someday cut into their own ministry profits were overblown. Osteen suggested that if Trump’s televangelist ministry followed the trend of all his other…

--

--

Dash MacIntyre
Dash MacIntyre

Written by Dash MacIntyre

Comedian, political satirist, and poet. Created The Halfway Post. Check out my comedy book Satire In The Trump Years, and my poetry book Cabaret No Stare.