Fox News To Launch “War On Christmas” Content Early To Distract From Trump’s Legal Problems
Fox News is finding it increasingly difficult to distract its conservative viewers from Donald Trump’s unprecedented legal peril, so top Fox executives have decided on a “Hail Mary” programming decision to launch its annual coverage of the “War on Christmas” starting September 1st.
“There’s literally nothing else we can do to keep our audience of elderly lemmings distracted,” said a Fox executive producer, who asked for anonymity to both discuss the network’s internal deliberations and insult the cognitive faculties of average Fox viewers. “It was hard enough to keep them loyal to Trump with the criminal investigations into his election fraud in several states, January 6th incitement of violence, inauguration fraud, campaign finance fraud, and all the Trump organization fraud, but now unambiguous treason?”
The executive producer laughed before continuing.
“Our viewers might be empathetically challenged, scholastically unimpressive addicts of ignorance with no critical-thinking skills, but they’re not traitors to America. The FBI search of Mar-a-Lago might be a bridge too far for even our biggest idiot viewers to continue giving Trump the benefit of the doubt. But they’re extremely profitable for advertisers the way they mindlessly watch Fox…
