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Fox News Has A Desperate Plan To Find New Advertisers
Fox News has suffered several costly boycotts of its advertising department in recent years, and is reportedly desperate for client leads to purchase commercial spots.
To try and reverse these negative trends, Sean Hannity and Tucker Carlson have launched a live, weekly special event called The Sean & Tucker Show on Sunday nights aimed at generating called-in business referrals from faithful Fox viewers who might be interested in limited-time offers of discounted advertising.
The special television events are like public broadcasting fundraising telethons, and several Fox executives have admitted that Fox News is largely donor-funded at this point. They also admitted the irony of the financial situation given Fox’s rabidly capitalist ideology now juxtaposed with the fact that Fox is basically panhandling for handouts during its weekend programming.
Throughout the Fox telethons, Hannity and Carlson maintain a schtick that consists of Carlson mocking the brain size of female Democrats in Congress while Hannity explains what, if those female Democrats were members of al-Qaeda, their “Muslim names” would be.
The fundraiser lasts two hours, and the final segment ends with the airing of a message from Fox’s Vice President Sean Daviers:
“If your products’ target demographics are old, white people who self-identify as racists, born-again Christians, or coal-mining enthusiasts, come advertise on Fox News! We’ve got them brainwashed right where you want them! They’re total lemmings ready for whatever cheap crap you want to sell them! Look, we’re live right now. They’re listening to this. They just heard me call them lemmings. They’re confused, and they’re scratching their heads. Now, watch this: Hillary! Emails! Benghazi! Migrant caravans! Gas prices! Hunter Biden! …And they’re back with us, just like that! That’s literally all it takes to turn around their goldfish brains. Watch this: Hey, you geezers! The Democrats are going to turn your kids into China-loving environmentalists and gay, biracial Marxists! See? It doesn’t matter at all if what we say is logically absurd, historically inaccurate, or patently made up! If you pay for some advertising with Fox News, you can rest assured that our mindless, doofus audience will eat it right up…
