What To Expect From Donald Trump’s Upcoming Trials
A handy guide for people who aren’t as familiar with Donald Trump as me.
4 min readFeb 23, 2024
- Donald Trump will be held in contempt of court for shouting out derogatory nicknames at the witnesses who accuse Trump of attempting to intimidate in between court appearances. He’ll pretend to cough while shouting “fake news,” and throughout the trial keep a notebook out in front of him on which he will write down the names of everyone in the trial he will send in the first wave to the concentration camps when he appoints himself dictator on day one of his next term and lets Stephen Miller, Nick Fuentes, Jack Posobiec, and Charlie Kirk go wild with their Nazi role-playing.
- Eric Trump will yell out “Objection!” from the peanut gallery during his father’s trial appearance at irrelevant times. He’ll repeat everything he hears from lawyer shows, but also complain to the judge that the trial is taking way longer than it should because on TV all the trials only take a half hour or an hour at the most, and have commercial breaks to get a chance to go to the bathroom or take another huff of glue.
- Trump will clog the courthouse toilet during a break of trial proceedings trying to flush notes his lawyers have written down for him. When the bowl starts overflowing, he’ll tell the responding…
