What The GOP Is Campaigning For In 2024

The 2024 GOP platform is very MAGA.

Dash MacIntyre
6 min readJun 8, 2024

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Photo by Element5 Digital on Unsplash

We believe in the Constitution as our founding document, not as a flexible document, but as our enduring covenant. Unless Donald Trump wants to tear it up, declare himself above the law, and start committing any number of consecutive crimes while arguing he’s unindictable because he’s running for president and any criminal investigation would amount to election interference. Then, once he’s president again, he can do endless crimes and pardon himself perpetually. …Unless Trump decides he wants to keep the Constitution, in which case, yeah, we love it and wouldn’t change a single word. Yay originalism!

We may have done some light treason and assisted Trump in inciting a coup against the democratically elected president, but we failed so none of it was ACTUALLY a crime and we can’t be prosecuted for just a slight felony technicality. Jack Smith needs to be defunded, the FBI abolished, the Department of Justice gutted, and all government prosecutors and lawyers who won’t swear a blood oath on January 20th, 2025 to Donald Trump fired. We will end the two-tiered justice system in America by making sure Donald Trump will never be harassed by criminal indictments ever again.

Our last three GOP presidents ballooned the debt by cutting taxes and not cutting spending at all…

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Dash MacIntyre

Comedian, political satirist, and poet. Created The Halfway Post. Check out my comedy book Satire In The Trump Years, and my poetry book Cabaret No Stare.