What Paul Ryan Has Been Doing Since Leaving Politics

(Photo by Gage Skidmore CC BY-SA 2.0)

Former Speaker of the House Paul Ryan retired in 2018 just ahead of the midterm shellacking that would see Republicans lose a spectacular number of House seats.

Political fans have been asking what Paul has been up to since leaving Congress, so I did some investigating and found these highlights of Ryan’s post-politics life:

• Started a marijuana dispensary. Ryan met some hippies in Montreal, and got into the marijuana industry with them. He only wears tie-dye clothing now, and has a tattoo of Tommy Chong on his arm. They sell different strains of weed referencing Ryan’s political career, such as “Ted Cruzin’ Sativa,” “Kush Limbaugh,” and “The Barack Hussein Strain.” Their most powerful hybrid variety is called “Louie Gohmert,” an indica strain so sedating it makes you feel brain dead.
• Disowned his handout-wanting children according to the principles of his favorite Ayn Rand book, Atlas Shrugged.
• Shown literally no remorse publicly for doing nothing to curtail Donald Trump’s fascist tendencies.
• Joined the boards of 7 corporations as a “thank you” for cutting corporate taxes and adding enough loopholes in the tax code that these companies ultimately don’t have to pay any taxes each year.
• Taught a community college class on personal…