Tucker Carlson Unveiled His 2nd Generation “Tucker’s Testes” Testicle-Tanning Machine
5 min readSep 16, 2023
And other Dada news headlines from this month!
- Tucker Carlson claimed on his podcast that Joe Biden and Barack Obama were lovers, and then cut to a commercial break that advertised the second generation of his trademarked “Tucker’s Testes” testicle-tanning machines.
- Lauren Boebert says her boyfriend flashed another woman in exchange for finding out that Marjorie Taylor Greene is the one who leaked the news of Kristi Noem’s years-long affair with Corey Lewandowski, and that this was the first warning shot in the battle to become Trump’s VP pick.
- In another campaign shakeup due to plummeting poll numbers and financial support, Ron DeSantis just fired his pudding supplier, and will now be using his three fingers for scooping out Jell-O cups.
- Lauren Boebert reportedly has had several complaints filed against her for vaping when she stops to talk to elementary school Capitol field trip tours, and blowing the smoke in the kids’ faces.
- Donald Trump is reportedly depressed, jealous, and moping around Mar-a-Lago because Kim Jong Un met with Vladimir Putin, and they really hit it off and signed a tremendous deal together.
- Donald Trump is reportedly telling friends and staffers…
