Trump’s White House Chef Just Published A Tell-All Book About His Eating Habits

Dash MacIntyre
4 min readMay 18, 2022
(Official White House Photo by Tia Dufour listed as Public Domain CC 1.0)

Former White House Executive Chef Elizabeth Markowitz has just published a memoir about her time cooking for President Trump, and in it she reveals she only got to show off her cooking skills during rare state visits from foreign dignitaries because of Trump’s exclusive taste for fried foods.

“The former guy had the palette of a six-year-old,” Markowitz writes in her introductory chapter. “Honestly, the job was incredibly boring because Trump really only utilized my talents to be a glorified fast food delivery girl. I knew all the McDonalds and KFC window station employees by name. After a year I resigned because I had an epiphany one day that I hadn’t gone to elite culinary schools or subjected myself to the rigorous security vetting by the Secret Service just to drop a thousand bags of french fries and chicken into the fryer.”

Below are several preview excerpts Markowitz’s publisher has shared:

  • Trump loves M&M candies in his ice cream, but made Chef Markowitz remove all the brown ones. Her predecessor was fired when Trump found a single brown M&M he had missed.
  • Trump claimed to French President Macron that he invented the recipe to the McDonalds Big Mac sandwich.
  • When Trump eats tacos and some meat or lettuce falls out, he yells out to whoever is dining with him that “the wall just got ten feet higher!”
  • Trump’s favorite pizza topping is sauerkraut.
  • Trump critiques the Diet Coke cans he drinks like a scotch aficionado would rate a fine whiskey, and often makes comments on each can’s flavor profile as well as how it smells “on the nose.”
  • Trump leaves lipstick stains on all the straws he uses.
  • Trump often comments to dinner guests that global warming can’t be real because ice cream still exists.
  • Trump forbids vegetables from being served. Markowitz once described asparagus, and Trump said he had never heard of it. When shown a picture, he claimed it was “fake news.”
  • Trump delicately takes off all the skin of his fried chicken with a knife and fork, and sets it to the side of his plate. Then, he removes all the lean meat and discards it…

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Dash MacIntyre

Comedian, political satirist, and poet. Created The Halfway Post. Check out my comedy book Satire In The Trump Years, and my poetry book Cabaret No Stare.