Trump’s Next Batch Of Trading Card NFTs Go On Sale Tomorrow

Here’s a sneak peak of what they look like.

Dash MacIntyre
3 min readJun 2


Credit: Gage Skidmore | | via Flickr (CC BY-SA 2.0)

Donald Trump’s money laundering scheme — I mean once-in-a-lifetime investment opportunity — of NFT trading cards made him so much money, he’s bringing them back for a second batch!

This batch continues the first batch’s comic book hero themes, but it adds his fellow Republican presidential primary opponents as his enemies in a manner criticized as stupid, somewhat bigoted, and certainly childish.

The following are all descriptions of some of Trump’s NFTs about to be unveiled tomorrow:

  • Nikki Haley wearing a sari and being strangled by a snake Trump is controlling with a flute
  • Trump as a ghost scaring Tim Scott into a heart attack
  • Trump choking Vivek Ramaswamy with a computer cord in the Metaverse
  • Trump riding in a hot air balloon made out of Chris Christie
  • Trump cheering on a crowd hanging Mike Pence in front of Congress
  • Trump shoving Election 2020’s electoral votes down Pence’s throat
  • Trump laughing with God as Pence is denied entry into Heaven
  • Trump laughing as Jesus lowers a guillotine blade decapitating Pence
  • Trump taking Pence’s daughters out furniture shopping
  • Trump flying into space, grabbing the moon, and smashing it down on Ron DeSantis
  • Trump watching as a Mickey Mouse stand-in character sexually assaults DeSantis
  • Trump in a bed with Ron’s wife Casey while Ron is in the corner of the room handcuffed to a chair
  • Trump making out with Ron’s wife Casey on Ron’s grave
  • Trump at a courthouse adopting Ron’s children
  • Ron’s wife Casey giving birth to a blonde baby girl named “Ivanka 2”
  • Casey being buried at Trump’s Bedminster golf course next to Ivana
  • Trump finding the Fountain of Youth in a shit-hole country
  • A newspaper headline that says “Trump elected as America’s Dictator-for-Life with 98% of the vote!”



Dash MacIntyre

Comedian, political satirist, and poet. Created The Halfway Post. Check out my comedy book Satire In The Trump Years, and my poetry book Cabaret No Stare.