#46 OF 46!

Trump Says The Presidential Rankings Are Rigged Against Him

The latest batch of presidential surveys have Trump at the very bottom.

Photo by Brandon Mowinkel on Unsplash

Donald Trump is furious at the latest survey of historians’ presidential rankings that have ranked him at #46 of 46 presidents.

The following are insults he said about each of the other presidents he believes should be ranked lower than him:

1. George Washington — “George was a loser who showed such weakness refusing a third presidential term. He missed the opportunity of a lifetime to make himself King of America!”
2. John Adams — “John Adams was a bald little freak, and a pussy like Mike Pence for willingly giving up the presidency to Thomas Jefferson after losing the election. Was he too poor to hire lawyers to launch dozens of lawsuits? Too unpopular to have his followers storm the Capitol? Or were his generals just too scared to declare martial law and give him emergency dictatorial powers like mine were?”
3. Thomas Jefferson — “Jefferson had no talent for branding. If I were him, I would have named the Louisiana Purchase after myself! I’d have called it the Trumpiana Purchase, and charged every person who lived there rent for staying on my territory!”