Tomi Lahren Just Came Out On Fox News, Says She Self-Identifies As A Baby Boomer

Dash MacIntyre
3 min readMay 17, 2022
Photo by Gage Skidmore, check his site here.

Tomi Lahren is famous for her firebrand schtick as a rare Millennial conservative, and often mocks her fellow Millennials she calls “snowflakes” because she detests her generation’s collective interest in achieving greater social equality.

She made viral news this morning when she joined the hosts of Fox & Friends to renounce her identity as a Millennial altogether.

“I want to share something very personal with the Fox News community,” she said. “I’ve known this for a long, long time, and it’s a secret I can’t keep bottled up inside any longer. I’ve never felt truly authentic calling myself a Millennial, and if I’m being totally real with everyone… I’d like to admit once and for all that I self-identify as a Baby Boomer. I’ve known it my whole life, but only recently have I gotten better at accepting my real personal truth enough to publicly acknowledge it. Since I was a kid I’ve always felt older than my real age, and various clues throughout my teenaged years made it obvious that I’m just not a Millennial. Like how I’ve always felt threatened culturally by strong-minded, independently successful Black people. And how I’m more pro-business than feminist on issues like equal pay and women who accuse Republicans of sexual assault. And how I hate the way the Internet is radically changing our cultural awareness of inequality so that privileged elites are now suffering social and economic consequences for their malevolent exploitation of everyone else. And so much more. Like how I feel personally attacked by minority holdouts in gentrified neighborhoods, and coffee corporations’ marketing campaigns that don’t specifically advertise Christianity exclusively, and estate taxes, and sitcoms with gay supporting characters, and any art, fashion, or political activism that Black people do. That doesn’t sound very Millennial of me, does it?”

She paused, and took a deep breath before continuing.

“I don’t want to hide anymore. I’m a Baby Boomer. And I wanted the viewers of Fox & Friends to be the first ones I came out to because you’re all pretty old, and your hoity-toity insults for progressive Millennials close to my dead age have always made me feel so seen and heard. I’d love to one day be a Fox & Friends host myself. My…

Dash MacIntyre

Comedian, political satirist, and poet. Created The Halfway Post. Check out my comedy book Satire In The Trump Years, and my poetry book Cabaret No Stare.