Tips For Billionaires On How To Pinch Pennies If Their Taxes Go Up

Dash MacIntyre
3 min readJan 18
Photo by Viktor Ritsvall on Unsplash

I feel sympathy for the billionaires who may someday have to pay slightly higher marginal tax rates, so I’ve compiled this handy guide for the super rich on how to live a little more frugally:

  1. Sketch out a budget! If you make only $20,000+ every hour, it can be easy to spend it without even thinking. So get yourself a notebook, and start tracking all your weekly expenditures to figure out what expenses you can cross out and skip next week.
  2. Start small, but always think big! If you annually buy a new yacht, consider skipping this year. If you usually buy yachts with two helicopter pads, consider just one helicopter pad next time. Ask yourself if you really need that smaller yacht that detaches from your bigger yacht.
  3. Unsubscribe! Do you need Hulu AND Netflix? Do you really need cable TV as well? Think about all your monthly subscriptions and cancel the ones you find yourself not using very much if you’re worried about losing that 10th income digit!
  4. Have “No-Buy” days! Each week, make it a challenge to see if you can go one whole day without spending any money at all! This could be a fun challenge, and a great way to hold on to an extra few hundred thousand dollars every week. Isn’t buying that 5th vacation home more enjoyable when you know you’ve really saved up for it?
  5. Eat in! Consider bringing your own brown bag lunch to the office. You might even find you’re more productive eating at your desk than wasting an hour going out for every lunch. And have wine date nights at home instead of at exclusive, trendy restaurants downtown. The price of rare, vintage wines are marked up considerably at restaurants, and you can buy them much cheaper on your own.
  6. Change brands! Why buy luxury brand underwear when no one will see it but you? If Democratic tax hikes threaten to make you go from a double-digit billionaire to only a single-digit billionaire, buy cheap luxury brands like Louis Vuitton or Gucci for underwear instead of Hermès. It can be your frugal little secret.
  7. Go generic! From your prescription pills, to home products, to grocery store food, the cheaper prices might really surprise you while the quality is basically the same.
Dash MacIntyre

Comedian, political satirist, and poet. Created The Halfway Post. Check out my comedy book Satire In The Trump Years, and my poetry book Cabaret No Stare.