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This Is The Nightmarish Republican Utopia For Women In Project 2025

This is Republicans’ policy agenda come to life… (Project 2025 is barely satirizable)

Dash MacIntyre
6 min readOct 22, 2024
Photo by Camila Quintero Franco on Unsplash
  • The creation of a new “DMV” called the Department of Menstrual Vaginas to oversee the rationing of feminine care products, where women must go each month, take a numbered ticket, and wait in long lines before receiving the five tampons OR five pads rationed to them each month by very surly, fundamentalist Christian employees.
  • All girls and women in America must modify their period schedules so that, from now on, they all start bleeding on the 15th of each month so it’s easier for police, GOP legislators, husbands, and fathers to track pregnancies and investigate possible abortions.
  • “Big Science” must officially announce that the clitoris and G-spot are a hoax, and scientists must stop profiting off the lie that women can enjoy any form of sex for non-procreative purposes.
  • A national program in public schools where girls, starting in the third grade, will be given a government-issued and “WWJD” stamped chicken egg to bring everywhere they go to teach them about the importance of protecting fetuses. If anything happens to the egg, their parents will be fined $35 to replace it, and they will have to spend all morning…

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Dash MacIntyre
Dash MacIntyre

Written by Dash MacIntyre

Comedian, political satirist, and poet. Created The Halfway Post. Check out my comedy book Satire In The Trump Years, and my poetry book Cabaret No Stare.

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