GOP PRIMARY

The Top Reasons MAGA Fans Are Actually Losing Faith In Trump

Can Ron DeSantis, Nikki Haley, or Chris Christie capitalize on Trump’s growing enthusiasm problem?

Photo by Natilyn Photography on Unsplash

The following are reasons why MAGA Republicans are actually souring on the idea of a second Trump term:

• He just smells so bad
• There’s something seemingly unAmerican about the way Trump eats his steaks well-done like some kind of prissy European
• Two of Trump’s three wives were immigrants who chain-migrated their families to America
• Most of Trump’s kids have “immigrant-poisoned blood”
• Ivanka married a Jew and converted
• Ivanka and Jared just visited Israel “like total globalists”
• Trump regularly confuses Jesus with Odysseus and Heracles from Greek mythology
• Trump regularly confuses Jesus with Abraham, Noah, and Moses from the Old Testament
• His wife Melania’s reptilian eyes give her away as an extra-terrestrial shapeshifter, and who knows what she’s manipulating him into thinking and doing when alone together
• Everyone knows Trump is going to be on Jeffrey Epstein’s list a hundred times