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The “MAGA Music Festival” At Mar-A-Lago Revealed Its Lineup

Tickets to the MAGA world’s hottest event go on sale tomorrow!

Dash MacIntyre
4 min readJun 24, 2023
Photo by ActionVance on Unsplash

Friday

10pm: DJ Jewish Space Laser

9pm: A big bonfire dance party for attendees to bring and burn books with gay characters, Bud Light cans, anything with a rainbow on it, COVID masks, vaccination records, Nike shoes, bags of M&Ms, school textbooks, solar-powered objects, Colin Kaepernick football jerseys, Ukrainian flags, and top secret documents to be provided by Donald Trump

8pm: A debate on the topic, “Did Hitler have SOME good ideas?” between Tucker Carlson (for the topic) and Ben Shapiro (against the topic)

7pm: Madison Cawthorn’s Tell-All About The GOP coke orgies

6pm: Roger Stone getting a tattoo of Donald Trump’s head under his tattoo of Richard Nixon’s head on his back

5pm: Kellyanne & The Alternative Facts

4pm: Red Hat Öyster Cult (tribute band)

Saturday

10pm: Lindsey Graham, Marjorie Taylor Greene, and Kevin McCarthy leading a communal blood oath of loyalty to Donald Trump

9pm: A gallows hanging of a life-size sculpture of Mike Pence

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Dash MacIntyre
Dash MacIntyre

Written by Dash MacIntyre

Comedian, political satirist, and poet. Created The Halfway Post. Check out my comedy book Satire In The Trump Years, and my poetry book Cabaret No Stare.

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