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The “MAGA Music Festival” At Mar-A-Lago Revealed Its Lineup
Tickets to the MAGA world’s hottest event go on sale tomorrow!
Friday
10pm: DJ Jewish Space Laser
9pm: A big bonfire dance party for attendees to bring and burn books with gay characters, Bud Light cans, anything with a rainbow on it, COVID masks, vaccination records, Nike shoes, bags of M&Ms, school textbooks, solar-powered objects, Colin Kaepernick football jerseys, Ukrainian flags, and top secret documents to be provided by Donald Trump
8pm: A debate on the topic, “Did Hitler have SOME good ideas?” between Tucker Carlson (for the topic) and Ben Shapiro (against the topic)
7pm: Madison Cawthorn’s Tell-All About The GOP coke orgies
6pm: Roger Stone getting a tattoo of Donald Trump’s head under his tattoo of Richard Nixon’s head on his back
5pm: Kellyanne & The Alternative Facts
4pm: Red Hat Öyster Cult (tribute band)
Saturday
10pm: Lindsey Graham, Marjorie Taylor Greene, and Kevin McCarthy leading a communal blood oath of loyalty to Donald Trump
9pm: A gallows hanging of a life-size sculpture of Mike Pence