RECORD-BREAKING DUMB
The Internet’s 25 Dumbest Personal Essays
3 min readJun 21
--
- Why I’m A Straight, White, Conservative Male, But Pretend To Be A Gay, Black, Liberal, Trans Woman On Twitter To Criticize Gays, Blacks, Liberals And Trans People
- White People Said We Were Sorry. Why It’s Exhausting That That’s Not Enough.
- What I Learned About Ageism As An 87-Year-Old Spinster Who Tells People On Dating Apps I’m 22 And “DTF”
- Why I Love Snooping In Everybody’s Things, And Shouldn’t Be Expected To Change
- Why I’ve Learned To Appreciate, Honor, And Even Love Belgians, And Now I Only Hate The Dutch
- What I Learned About Big Pharma By Taking Garbage Bags Out Of Public Trash Cans, Cutting Holes In The Bottom Corner, And Drinking The Mystery Liquids That Come Out
- I Lived A Charmed Life. Then My Husband Said I Couldn’t Adopt A 16th Cat
- The 5 Valuable Life Lessons I’m Sharing With The World By Once A Week Finding A Stranger’s House On Google Maps To Mail A Box Full Of Live Spiders
- How Eating Fried Green Tomatoes At A BBQ Restaurant Made Me Realize I Don’t Actually Care Much For Fried Green Tomatoes
- How My Sex Work Roleplaying As Gollum From The Lord Of The Rings For Lonely Millionaires Gave Me The Confidence To Leave My Husband And 6 Kids, And Run A Sex Dungeon Themed Airbnb In A Missouri Cave
- The 9 Disrespectful Microaggressions That Stamp Collectors Regularly Have To Deal With When We Show People Our Collections
- Women Never Noticed Me. Until I Stalked Them For Months Always A Court-Mandated 50 Feet Away. Here’s Why Blame Goes Both Ways.
- I’m So Nervous To Poop Around People I Go Outside And Poop In The Woods Behind The House When My Husband Is Home. I Tell Him I Love Hiking. Here’s How I Came To Terms With This.
- The Woke Mob Loves Bashing Benito Mussolini. Here’s What They Get Wrong.
- No One Believes I’m Bisexual Because I’m Married To A Man And Only Ever Dated Men And Don’t Have Any Female Friends, But I’m Still Just As Much A Social Victim Of Systemic Oppression As Black And Trans People!
- I Thought Eating Spicy Things Only Burned…
