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POLITICAL DESPERATION
The GOP Is Demanding Your Vote In 2024
The following is the preamble to the Republican Party’s 2024 platform:
We believe in the Constitution as our founding document, not as a flexible document, but as our enduring covenant. Unless Donald Trump wants to tear it up, be above the law, and just be able to commit any number of consecutive crimes while not being indictable because he’s running for president and any criminal investigation would amount to election interference. Then, once he’s president, he can commit infinite crimes while just pardoning himself every day. Unless Trump wants to keep the Constitution, in which case, yeah, we love it and wouldn’t change a word.
We may have done some light treason and assisted Trump in inciting a coup against the democratically elected president, but we failed so none of it was ACTUALLY a crime and we can’t be prosecuted for just a slight Constitutional technicality. Jack Smith needs to be defunded, the FBI abolished, the Department of Justice gutted, and all lawyers who won’t swear a blood oath on January 20th, 2025 to Donald Trump fired. We will end the two-tiered justice system in America by making sure Donald Trump will never be harassed by criminal indictments ever again.
Our last three Republican presidents ballooned the debt by cutting taxes and not cutting…