The Ghosts of Past Presidents Are Haunting The White House!
Ghost activity at the White House is increasing unexpectedly, and staffers from the Biden Administration are reporting an uptick in the number of encounters with the ghosts of former presidents:
George Washington floats around confessing that he accidentally sparked the French and Indian War in the 1754.
Rutherford Hayes asks White House visitors, “What’s the big problem with Joe Biden sniffing kids’ hair? Sniffing kids’ hair is great!”
James Buchanan tells anyone who will listen, “I was a lifelong bachelor, and my almost inseparable best friend was male. You know what that means when you read it in the history books, don’t you?”
Warren Harding hides in closets and when guests are getting dressed he says, “You know how much poon I used to get in here? Bill Clinton’s a virgin boy scout compared to me! Also, my wife murdered me with poison! Look it up! I actually didn’t mind. Teapot Dome was blowing up, and my mistress had just birthed a kid of mine. It was about time for ol’ Warren to go. But let me tell you, thank God for Donald Trump because until him I was the worst president in the modern era. I may have been a swamp monster of cronyism and corruption, but I’d never incite an attempted coup against the peaceful transfer of power! What kind of anti-democratic…
