The Craziest Things QAnon Said This Week

Dash MacIntyre
3 min readAug 3, 2022


QAnon is back, and nuttier than ever!

Photo by sebastiaan stam on Unsplash

QAnon had quite a week spreading all kinds of wild claims on Donald Trump’s social media app Truth Social. These are the nuttiest “truths” he posted for MAGA fans:

  • “Nancy Pelosi didn’t go to Taiwan, she went to her baby blood drug dealer in Hollywood to buy another year’s supply of adrenochrome.”
  • “Any day now, Dr. Fauci and Bill Gates are going to activate everyone’s COVID vaccines to change their DNA and turn them biracial, proving once and for all that MAGA fans were the smart ones all along who knew that the vaccine was a hoax and a liberal trap.”
  • “Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama secretly married each other last weekend, and conceived a child spawn of Satan who will fulfill the Biblical prophesies of Revelations and lead the Armageddon armies of darkness in battle against Jesus Christ.”
  • “Cassidy Hutchinson is secretly Ivanka Trump wearing Cassidy’s face.”
  • “Doctors who didn’t go to medical school and weren’t brainwashed by the socialist medical establishment have discovered that sniffing your toilet paper after you wipe your butt reduces the chance of an Omicron variant or BA.5 variant infection by 70%. Similarly, true patriots should stop getting colonoscopies from these socialist doctors, and should ask their MAGA-loving neighbors or friends to do them instead.”
  • “The JFK Jr. stuff was just a diversion to distract the Deep State with fake initials, and Trump’s real future VP will be the KFC Colonel, who also faked his death and will soon reveal himself.”
  • “Dwight Eisenhower is secretly still alive, and will be appointed as Trump’s Secretary of Defense in 2024.”
  • “Public schools have rewritten their kindergarten curriculums to spend 100% of class time teaching Critical Race Theory to brainwash all the white children into being subservient slaves for all the non-white children. Class activities include instructing the non-white kids how to whip and spit on the white ones, and coloring pictures of Disney characters with only black, brown, yellow, and red crayons.”
  • “The urinary incontinence side effect from taking Ivermectin for COVID is a good…



Dash MacIntyre

Comedian, political satirist, and poet. Created The Halfway Post. Check out my comedy book Satire In The Trump Years, and my poetry book Cabaret No Stare.