Ted Cruz Loves That Matt Gaetz Is Now The Most Hated Man In Congress

Dash MacIntyre
5 min readJan 14, 2023
Credit: Gage Skidmore | gageskidmore.com | via Flickr (CC BY-SA 2.0)

Senator Ted Cruz’s long career of narcissistically self-aggrandizing political stunts has won him few friends in politics. Actually, no friends.

But Matt Gaetz has now slightly edged out Cruz for the designation as “least popular member of Congress” thanks to his performative, governmental obstruction.

However, Cruz is still the most hated senator. These are the some of the most charitable remarks his fellow Republicans have said about him:

“I will never not hate Ted Cruz with a fiery passion,” said Senator Lindsey Graham. “Nothing he says or does could ever change the fact I’ve repeated many times before that if someone killed Ted Cruz on the floor of the Senate, no Senators would vote to convict the murderer. I’d even vote to confirm that person onto the Supreme Court because killing Cruz would exemplify such clear and sound judgment!”

“Al Franken said it best when he said that he liked Ted Cruz more than most in the Senate, and that he hated Ted Cruz,” said Senator Ron Daniels. “Al Franken certainly liked Ted much more than I do! One time at a Republican caucus luncheon I saw Ted Cruz with spinach in his teeth, toilet paper stuck to his shoe, his pants zipper down, his shirt on inside-out, and a booger hanging from his nose… and I didn’t say a word…

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Dash MacIntyre
Dash MacIntyre

Written by Dash MacIntyre

Comedian, political satirist, and poet. Created The Halfway Post. Check out my comedy book Satire In The Trump Years, and my poetry book Cabaret No Stare.