Steve Bannon’s Demands For The J6 Committee Just Leaked!

Dash MacIntyre
2 min readJul 11, 2022
Photo by Michael Vadon

Steve Bannon is reportedly offering to testify for the January 6th Committee, but has the following demands:

  • He doesn’t have to shower or shave before the hearing
  • He can bring a 30-pack of beer and drink as many as he wants during his testimony
  • He can present his 90-minute slideshow presentation on “Jewish Conspiracies Going Back To The Peloponnesian War
  • He can bring his own film crew to shoot footage for his upcoming documentary “January 6th Was Just A Test Run For Destroying The US Government
  • He can be barefoot to air out a foot fungus condition he’s currently treating
  • He can wear an SS Nazi uniform he bought last year
  • Any lizards on the January 6th Committee have to take off their human masks and reveal themselves as extra-terrestrial reptiles
  • Congress must name a post office in his honor
  • Joe Biden must pardon him for his fraudulent “Build the Wall” fundraiser that stole tens of thousands of dollars from gullible MAGA fans
  • He will be gifted one lock of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s hair
  • Congress must exempt him from paying alimony to his “bitch ex-wives”

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Dash MacIntyre
Dash MacIntyre

Written by Dash MacIntyre

Comedian, political satirist, and poet. Created The Halfway Post. Check out my comedy book Satire In The Trump Years, and my poetry book Cabaret No Stare.

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