Steve Bannon’s Demands For The J6 Committee Just Leaked!

Dash MacIntyre
2 min readJul 11, 2022
Photo by Michael Vadon

Steve Bannon is reportedly offering to testify for the January 6th Committee, but has the following demands:

  • He doesn’t have to shower or shave before the hearing
  • He can bring a 30-pack of beer and drink as many as he wants during his testimony
  • He can present his 90-minute slideshow presentation on “Jewish Conspiracies Going Back To The Peloponnesian War
  • He can bring his own film crew to shoot footage for his upcoming documentary “January 6th Was Just A Test Run For Destroying The US Government
  • He can be barefoot to air out a foot fungus condition he’s currently treating
  • He can wear an SS Nazi uniform he bought last year
  • Any lizards on the January 6th Committee have to take off their human masks and reveal themselves as extra-terrestrial reptiles
  • Congress must name a post office in his honor
  • Joe Biden must pardon him for his fraudulent “Build the Wall” fundraiser that stole tens of thousands of dollars from gullible MAGA fans
  • He will be gifted one lock of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s hair
  • Congress must exempt him from paying alimony to his “bitch ex-wives”

--

--

Dash MacIntyre

Comedian, political satirist, and poet. Created The Halfway Post. Check out my comedy book Satire In The Trump Years, and my poetry book Cabaret No Stare.