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KEEPING ’EM HONEST
Shady Deals The Supreme Court Justices Forgot To Disclose
Amy Coney Barrett makes $5,000 a month licensing her name and image to a brand new, allegedly non-profit, Christian charity that spends its donations transporting typically elderly volunteers to gay bars around the nation to stand a legally-specified 10 feet away from the front doors on the public sidewalk and yell at all the people walking in and out, and read out loud with bullhorns the entirety of Leviticus.
John Roberts owns a 33% stake in a Korean pop music record label that was recently accused in a class-action lawsuit of beating its teenaged stars.
Clarence Thomas has been gifted by Harlan Crow several authenticated hairs from Adolph Hitler’s mustache.
The owner of Samuel Alito’s favorite restaurant lets him eat free. It’s an extremely upscale establishment called “The 1%,” and the owner lets Alito eat free every day. Alito promises his relationship with the owner in no way influences his opposition to federally raising the minimum wage of restaurant employees. The restaurant’s most famous dish, keeping with its 1% theme, is a stew made up of A-List celebrities’ nepo babies’ placentas, and it costs $5,000 for a small bowl. This is the dish Alito orders on Mondays, when he says it has the most flavor because of extra placentas…
