OOPS

Several “Good Guys With Guns” Got Shot By Other “Good Guys With Guns”

Dash MacIntyre
5 min readMar 29, 2023
Photo by Max Kleinen on Unsplash

During a crazy mixup in an Oklahoma City shopping mall today, an accidental gunshot from an otherwise law-abiding citizen set off a chain reaction of several other gun-related incidents.

Four area men were involved, and three of them suffered non-life-threatening wounds after believing the mall was under attack from armed delinquents.

“It all started when my gun accidentally discharged,” explained Ralph Stoddard. “I have a concealed carry permit, and I’m usually so good at leaving the safety on, but this time I must have forgotten. I was in the Big & Tall store and my handgun fired from its holster while I was trying on sweatpants.”

“When I heard that gunshot, I decided I would be the famed good guy with a gun you hear about in the news sometimes,” said Keith Foster. “It sounded like the gunshot was fired in the Big & Tall store, so I got out my handgun and ran inside. Once inside, I could see a guy coming out of the dressing rooms looking suspicious, so I opened fire! I guess it turned out later that he was just embarrassed, and was trying to act like he wasn’t the one who fired the gun, but, at the time, while I was assessing the situation, I figured he was a terrorist who had just shot a customer or store employee or something. So I…

--

--

Dash MacIntyre

Comedian, political satirist, and poet. Created The Halfway Post. Check out my comedy book Satire In The Trump Years, and my poetry book Cabaret No Stare.