OOPS

Several “Good Guys With Guns” Got Shot By Other “Good Guys With Guns”

Dash MacIntyre
5 min readMar 29, 2023
Photo by Max Kleinen on Unsplash

During a crazy mixup in an Oklahoma City shopping mall today, an accidental gunshot from an otherwise law-abiding citizen set off a chain reaction of several other gun-related incidents.

Four area men were involved, and three of them suffered non-life-threatening wounds after believing the mall was under attack from armed delinquents.

“It all started when my gun accidentally discharged,” explained Ralph Stoddard. “I have a concealed carry permit, and I’m usually so good at leaving the safety on, but this time I must have forgotten. I was in the Big & Tall store and my handgun fired from its holster while I was trying on sweatpants.”

“When I heard that gunshot, I decided I would be the famed good guy with a gun you hear about in the news sometimes,” said Keith Foster. “It sounded like the gunshot was fired in the Big & Tall store, so I got out my handgun and ran inside. Once inside, I could see a guy coming out of the dressing rooms looking suspicious, so I opened fire! I guess it turned out later that he was just embarrassed, and was trying to act like he wasn’t the one who fired the gun, but, at the time, while I was assessing the situation, I figured he was a terrorist who had just shot a customer or store employee or something. So I…

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Dash MacIntyre
Dash MacIntyre

Written by Dash MacIntyre

Comedian, political satirist, and poet. Created The Halfway Post. Check out my comedy book Satire In The Trump Years, and my poetry book Cabaret No Stare.

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