QAnon Says To Pee On Your Kids So Democrats Can’t Smell Their Youthful Blood

Dash MacIntyre
4 min readJun 21, 2022
(Picture courtesy of Anthony Crider.)

The conspiracy ringleader Q of QAnon just posted a Q drop with a list of the following tips for MAGA patriots to prepare themselves for Donald Trump’s upcoming reinstatement as president:

  • Spritz your children with a spray bottle filled with your urine each morning so that the Democrats can’t smell their rich, youthful blood. Kids’ blood is like sweet, ripe fruit for all the socialists, communists, and climate change hoaxers. It’s been rumored that Nancy Pelosi can smell a healthy toddler from 25 miles away.
  • Stop bathing. You need to be ready to head into the hills and start a guerilla-style war at any moment. To defeat the cosmopolitan socialists, you’ll need to make camp outside the nearest liberal-run city to form a blockade and cut off their supply lines. The sooner you get used to the stench and grossness you will experience in the field, the sooner you’ll become a valuable teammate and guerrilla comrade. The effort to violently reinstall Emperor Trump could take years or even decades, so prepare yourself to potentially keep on fighting long after Trump dies.
  • Keep in a butt plug at all times. You never know when the civil war will erupt, and the top secret Deep State supporters of Donald Trump in the FBI and CIA have special weapons that will make only Antifa, BLM, feminists, and the Gay Agenda defecate on themselves in public, as long as you keep in your special, Q-approved butt plug sold on Alex Jones’ InfoWars website with Roger Stone’s personal endorsement.
  • Get a swastika tattoo on a conveniently revealed location on your body, but one that is easily covered up when in public for your protection, like a forearm, or your calf. When the Storm arrives, this will be our mark to prove loyalty. It also nicely gets back at all the libtards who called us Nazis for so many years. They were so wrong about that, weren’t they? And now the joke is on them because we’re actually going to BECOME Nazis! Ha! Take that libtards! And if any civilian sees it and is disgusted in you, just tell them you only got it because of your economic frustration.
  • Get together with your Q buddies and take turns punching each other in the face so you can prepare mentally and physically for the pain of hand-to-hand…
Dash MacIntyre

Comedian, political satirist, and poet. Created The Halfway Post. Check out my comedy book Satire In The Trump Years, and my poetry book Cabaret No Stare.