DADA!

Mitch McConnell Now Spends All Day Playing With A Turtle Named Franklin

And this week’s other Dada News headlines!

Photo courtesy of Mitch McConnell’s Instagram page dedicated exclusively to photos of Franklin doing his obstacle courses

And this week’s other Dada News headlines!

• Mitch McConnell is reportedly done trying to deal with MAGA Republicans in Congress, and is increasingly spending his work days lying on the floor of his office creating obstacle courses for his pet turtle Franklin, and timing how fast Franklin can finish them.
• A new poll found that 96% of Americans believe we haven’t yet heard the weirdest thing RFK Jr. has done with an animal carcass.
• Donald Trump is reportedly asking around at Mar-a-Lago if his guests think it’s a bad time to announce he’s setting aside land on his golf course for a new military cemetery section that would give him an even bigger tax break than he gets for his ex-wife’s grave.
• Donald Trump is threatening to sue Joe Biden if he loses in November for $5 billion in fraud damages because Biden dropping out forced him to scrap his “genius campaign strategy that would have won over 400 electoral votes.”
• Trump is reportedly asking if people will notice if he just starts saying RFK Jr. is his VP
• The Trump campaign reportedly canceled an event at a jubilee for Girl…