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UFO ALERT!
Mike Lindell Claims He Got Abducted By Aliens, And Saw Rudy Giuliani On Their Ship
After missing several scheduled Fox News appearances, MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell is claiming he was held captive by extra-terrestrials, and says Rudy Giuliani can corroborate his claims.
Lindell went on Sean Hannity’s show to explain.
“It was the wildest thing I’ve ever seen in my life,” Lindell said, “and I saw some wild things back in my crack smoking days! I was literally putting the final touches on my jam-packed, totally shocking election fraud report definitively proving once and for all that the 2020 election was stolen from Donald Trump, you know, crossing all the T’s and dotting all the I’s, when, out of nowhere, this great flash of light came in through my office windows and engulfed me. Somehow my windows opened, and I started rising up from my chair in a flurry with my pillows flying around everywhere, and I was literally soaring through the office and out the window up into the sky!”
“Was it like a gravity beam or something?” asked Hannity with a puzzled look on his face.
“Yeah!” exclaimed Lindell. “And the next thing I knew I was floating toward a big metal sphere with open doors, and then, when I got inside, the doors closed, and I landed softly on my feet as two of these…