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DON’T DRINK THE KOOL-AID
Mar-A-Lago Just Ordered 45 Pounds Of Kool-Aid Mix For An Upcoming Party
The MAGA movement is officially a cult.
According to a national distributor of Kool-Aid mix, Donald Trump’s Florida resort Mar-a-Lago just ordered 45 pounds of red Kool-Aid powder to be delivered tomorrow morning.
A spokeswoman for the former president, however, has denied rumors that Trump is planning a Jim Jones-style mass suicide event.
“I believe the former President will only be preparing this giant supply of Kool-Aid for refreshments during his ‘Thanks, President Trump!’ themed gala at Mar-a-Lago on New Year’s Eve,” the spokeswoman said. “The President may have said some offhand remarks here and there over the last few weeks about how the DOJ has backed him into a corner, and all his former friends and staffers are rats who betrayed him making deals with the FBI and Special Counsel Jack Smith, and he’s hemorrhaging money for legal fees, and it’s time to direct his most loyal followers to drink poisoned Kool-Aid in order to leave behind their material existences and enter into a new, metaphysical, universal dimension where he will be President for an eternity in which America is truly great again and Ivanka is finally his First Lady, but no concrete details have been confirmed…
