MAGA-Palooza Is This Weekend At Mar-A-Lago

The biggest GOP event of the summer!

Dash MacIntyre
4 min readJun 3, 2024


Photo by Colin Lloyd on Unsplash

Here’s the lineup:


11pm: Private coke orgies INVITE ONLY *Reminder: Madison Cawthorn is banned for life)

10pm: DJ Jewish Space Laser

9pm: A big bonfire dance party for attendees to bring and burn books with gay characters, Bud Light cans, anything with a rainbow on it, COVID masks, vaccination records, Nike shoes, bags of M&Ms, school textbooks, solar-powered objects, Colin Kaepernick football jerseys, Ukrainian flags, and stashed top secret documents to be provided by Donald Trump

8pm: A debate on the topic, “Did Hitler have a lot of GOOD ideas?” between Nick Fuentes (for the topic) and Tucker Carlson (also for the topic)

6pm: Roger Stone getting a tattoo of Donald Trump’s head above his back tattoo of Richard Nixon’s head

5pm: Kellyanne & The Alternative Facts

4pm: Red Hat Öyster Cult (MAGA-themed tribute band)


11pm: Private coke orgies INVITE ONLY (Theme: “God’s Not Watching”)

10pm: Lindsey Graham, Marjorie Taylor Greene and Kevin McCarthy leading a cultist blood oath of personal loyalty to God Emperor Donald Trump…



Dash MacIntyre

Comedian, political satirist, and poet. Created The Halfway Post. Check out my comedy book Satire In The Trump Years, and my poetry book Cabaret No Stare.