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MAGA-Palooza Is This Weekend At Mar-A-Lago
The biggest GOP event of the summer!
Here’s the lineup:
FRIDAY
11pm: Private coke orgies INVITE ONLY *Reminder: Madison Cawthorn is banned for life)
10pm: DJ Jewish Space Laser
9pm: A big bonfire dance party for attendees to bring and burn books with gay characters, Bud Light cans, anything with a rainbow on it, COVID masks, vaccination records, Nike shoes, bags of M&Ms, school textbooks, solar-powered objects, Colin Kaepernick football jerseys, Ukrainian flags, and stashed top secret documents to be provided by Donald Trump
8pm: A debate on the topic, “Did Hitler have a lot of GOOD ideas?” between Nick Fuentes (for the topic) and Tucker Carlson (also for the topic)
6pm: Roger Stone getting a tattoo of Donald Trump’s head above his back tattoo of Richard Nixon’s head
5pm: Kellyanne & The Alternative Facts
4pm: Red Hat Öyster Cult (MAGA-themed tribute band)
SATURDAY
11pm: Private coke orgies INVITE ONLY (Theme: “God’s Not Watching”)
10pm: Lindsey Graham, Marjorie Taylor Greene and Kevin McCarthy leading a cultist blood oath of personal loyalty to God Emperor Donald Trump…
