2023 WILL BE NUTS

Kevin McCarthy Is Promising Insane Things To Earn Speaker Votes

Can Kevin McCarthy be elected as Speaker of the House? Only if he gives in to the Freedom Caucus’s kooky demands.

Credit: Matt Johnson | via Flickr (CC BY-SA 2.0)

Thanks to Republicans’ surprisingly narrow majority in the House of Representatives, aspiring Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy is struggling to get all the votes he needs to be elected.

Some of the most MAGA members of the House are threatening to withhold their votes unless McCarthy promises them favors, and these are the wildest ones:

• Lauren Boebert — Wants to be able to bring guns into Congress, and wants McCarthy to get her an honorary college degree from his alma matter, California State University.
• Marjorie Taylor Greene — Wants McCarthy to vow he’ll fund a Lewis & Clark style expedition through the Pacific Northwest to find and bring back her Bigfoot half-brother.
• Herb Williams — Wants to be able to wear his Ku Klux Klan outfit on the House floor.
• Louie Gohmert — Wants to be the chairman of a newly created House subcommittee on Female Anatomical Truths because he’s sick and tired of hearing women claim that they have a clitoris, a G-Spot, brains equal in size…