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DADA!

Josh Hawley Claims He’s Being Targeted By A Feminist Mafia Group Called “The Cliterati”

This week’s Dada news headlines from The Halfway Post!

Dash MacIntyre
4 min readJun 18, 2023

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Credit: Gage Skidmore | gageskidmore.com | via Flickr (CC BY-SA 2.0)
  • The Illuminati just announced they are merging with the feminist mafia called the “Cliterati,” and will stop at nothing to get Joe Biden reelected.
  • After the Miami police fingerprinted Donald Trump, his prints matched some found at a crime scene of a McDonalds robbery in the 1970s.
  • Mike Pence has reportedly been telling top GOP donors that God told him in a vision Donald Trump will have a heart attack and die any day now.
  • The FBI reportedly did DNA testing on the fecal matter collected from the top secret documents Donald Trump kept in his bathroom at Mar-a-Lago, and have identified 7 Saudi nationals, 2 Russians, 3 Israelis, 4 Chinese, and 1 N. Korean who perused the files while pooping.
  • Ron DeSantis just told a classroom of elementary schoolers that Mickey Mouse’s brain was infected with the woke mind virus, and is being eaten from the inside out.
  • A trans rights group is demanding Marjorie Taylor Greene only compete in CrossFit competitions against other Sasquatch athletes.
  • “I was fooled by Rudy Giuliani’s manly charisma…

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Dash MacIntyre
Dash MacIntyre

Written by Dash MacIntyre

Comedian, political satirist, and poet. Created The Halfway Post. Check out my comedy book Satire In The Trump Years, and my poetry book Cabaret No Stare.

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