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Jim Jordan Claims He Saw Trump Run A Mile In Under 6 Minutes Last Year

Dash MacIntyre
3 min readJun 20, 2022
Photo by Gage Skidmore

Representative Jim Jordan claimed today that, in the last few months of Donald Trump’s presidency, Trump took up jogging as a hobby.

“A lot of people don’t know this, but President Trump rarely uses a golf cart when he goes golfing,” Jordan said in response to a question from a constituent asking him to reveal something voters don’t know about Trump. “Trump loves to jog from hole to hole.”

The crowd audibly groaned in disbelief, but Jordan continued.

“I thought I was in good shape, but I could barely keep up when I jogged with him a couple mornings! People think that President Trump is not in good shape because of his diet of almost exclusively fast food, and the fact that he starts to breathe heavily when he talks for more than twenty seconds, but I can assure you that the President has more endurance than anyone I’ve ever seen. I mean, you already know he barely sleeps, but I don’t know where all his energy comes from! The guy is a machine. And he really loves running. In fact, I raced him last year in a mile, and he beat me! I couldn’t believe it. By the end of the four laps of the track he was about to lap me! The guy has great form as well. His final time was under six minutes. The guy who timed us said Trump’s time was 30 seconds faster than Barack Obama’s personal…

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Dash MacIntyre
Dash MacIntyre

Written by Dash MacIntyre

Comedian, political satirist, and poet. Created The Halfway Post. Check out my comedy book Satire In The Trump Years, and my poetry book Cabaret No Stare.

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