Jesus: “Why I Burned My Republican Party Membership Card”
I, Jesus, today renounce My membership in the Republican Party. I burned it this morning when I opened up Twitter and saw what a pathetic, shell of a party the GOP has become.
I know lighting My card on fire was dramatic, but sometimes you just can’t break through the 24-hour news cycle and the endless social media doomscrolling without a little flare and sassiness. And, frankly, I don’t know how to make it any clearer that the Republican Party has lost its mind with Donald Trump and his ethno-nationalist, village idiot fascism.
Trump was literally a test for conservatives to see how Christian they really are, and they failed spectacularly. Trump lovers have gleefully renounced every moral We said was sacred, like loving your enemies, and turning the other cheek. They even clap and cheer when Trump is a megalomaniac obsessed with vengeance against anyone who fails to worship him like the false idol he is.
It’s actually kind of humiliating because Me and God made the test so easy. Donald Trump is literally the poster boy of all Seven Deadly Sins, and Trump is physically incapable of even PRETENDING to be Christian. The guy has obviously never read the Bible. He once told a whole church full of people that his favorite Bible story is when I defeated the Minotaur. The Minotaur! And none of those…
