If Trump Was President When Putin Invaded Ukraine…

Dash MacIntyre
3 min readOct 1, 2023
(Official White House photo by Shealah Craighead | via Flickr.com Public Domain CC 1.0)

When Vladimir Putin masses troops on the Ukrainian border, the Trump Administration rubber-stamps Russian propaganda denying it. Trump ends all Ukrainian assistance because Zelensky “is a mean, nasty guy” that the “Biden crime family” colluded with, and he refuses to commit to defending a very concerned Poland, Lithuania, Estonia and Latvia despite our blood-brother NATO Article 5 pact.

When Putin invades, Trump refuses to address his earlier claims that Russia had no intention to attack, and he calls Putin a clever genius. He denies Russian troops are committing any war crimes, and says he trusts Putin over the unanimous confirmations of the military and national security apparatus that the Russians are pillaging, raping, and butchering Bucha and other cities.

In a press conference Trump claims, “A lot of people are saying the Ukrainian government is filled with Nazis,” and Kayleigh McEnany adds that no one in history has defended democracy more than Trump. Fox News opinionators say Russians are better allies for America than Democrats, and Tucker Carlson airs special documentaries on how masculine Russian troops are, and how tan their testicles are.

Trump signs a one-sided trade deal with Belarus’s Lukashenko for a quick photo-op, and publicly admires his strength in killing so many Belarusians during his…

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Dash MacIntyre

Comedian, political satirist, and poet. Created The Halfway Post. Check out my comedy book Satire In The Trump Years, and my poetry book Cabaret No Stare.