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INTERVIEW WITH GOD
God Thinks It’s Funny The GOP Is Losing Elections Because Of Abortion
The Republican Party has been facing democratic headwinds in recent elections because of conservatives’ hardline approach to abortion rights.
The Republican Party has been facing strong electoral headwinds in recent elections because of conservatives’ hardline approach to ending as many abortion rights as bureaucratically possible in the wake of the Supreme Court’s decision to end the Roe V. Wade policy status quo, and God just held a press conference to laugh at the GOP’s confidence in what they believe He supports.
“Republicans are going to keep losing elections until they stop trying to speak for me about abortion,” God said. “They’re clueless when they talk about how I value every zygote like it’s a precious future apotheosis of human perfection. Anywhere from a quarter to a half of human pregnancies end in miscarriage. Women sometimes get pregnant, and it ends early and they never even know. In general, I can’t faithfully say death and murder bother Me much. You all do a ton of it, and I don’t ever put a stop to it. And have you seen the crazy s*** I created in the wild? I mean, watch a nature documentary! There’s nothing that gets Me going more…
