OMNISCIENT VERDICT!

God Says Ted Cruz Is The Biggest Asshole In The Universe

Dash MacIntyre

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Credit: Gage Skidmore | gageskidmore.com | via Flickr (CC BY-SA 2.0)

I haven’t checked in with God in a while, so I called Him up to ask a question about free will.

The following is our phone conversation, lightly edited for clarity:

DASH MACINTYRE: “Hey, God, just one question this time. Do we have freewill?”

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Dash MacIntyre

Comedian, political satirist, and poet. Created The Halfway Post. Check out my comedy book Satire In The Trump Years, and my poetry book Cabaret No Stare.