God: “For The Last Time… I’m Not Pro-Life, And Never Have Been!”

Dash MacIntyre
3 min readApr 15, 2024

God is reportedly pissed that Republicans keep saying He’s against abortion, and just released the following statement to prove otherwise:

“Stop putting words in my mouth! I am not anti-abortion! Anywhere from 25–50% of pregnancies end in miscarriage, and many women don’t even realize they ever got pregnant before it naturally ends, so why do…

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Dash MacIntyre

Comedian, political satirist, and poet. Created The Halfway Post. Check out my comedy book Satire In The Trump Years, and my poetry book Cabaret No Stare.