SPEAKER ELECTION

George Santos 4 Speaker Of The House

Sorry, Kevin McCarthy, you have too much backbone, and Republicans need a Speaker who will say anything.

Picture a screenshot from this Fox News video.

George Santos is the most isolated, pathetic person in the House of Representatives, a legislative body that includes Kevin McCarthy.

So I think George should nominate himself for Speaker. Swing for the fences, buddy. I’ve even written some inspirational slogans and persuasion arguments for you:

• “I heard the call to action for public service after my mother’s passing on 9/11!”
• “Goldman Sachs has no record of me working for them so let me come clean, I was on the SEAL team that killed Osama bin Laden and banking was my cover story.”
• “I’ve been evicted by two different landlords, so you know I have what it takes to default on the government’s debts!”
• “I’m not just Jew-ish, I’m also Speaker-ish!”
• “I’ve just heard great things about the coke orgies!”
• “I’ll be as bipartisan as I am biracial! So very little!”
• “Kevin McCarthy is too principled and high-minded to be Speaker!”
• “I lied about my college degrees so Republican voters can be…