EXCLUSIVE: One Of Donald Trump’s Pen Pal Letters To Kim Jong Un Leaked!

Dash MacIntyre
4 min readJun 4, 2022
(Official White House Photo by Tia Dufour listed as Public Domain CC 1.0)

This letter was reportedly sent to Kim Jong Un in October of 2018:

My Dearest Kim,

I still can’t get over your gracious words. How quickly your previous letter to me identified my unparalleled genius (first paragraph!) really touched my heart. You are truly a tremendous dictator, and I believe our countries can work together and achieve peace. As soon as those Trump Casinos get built along your beautiful country’s amazing beaches like we discussed in our Singapore summit, your nation will blossom into a prosperous, nuclear-capable utopia. North Korea will be the envy of the world. And don’t forget about drilling the peepholes in all the penthouse suites like I told you about!

Your society is so obedient and courteous to you, Kim, that I believe your people have what it takes to become a great nation. And you don’t have democracy, so you can have an entire nation of slaves. Boy, I wish I had your country! America respects way too many human rights. Being President is not nearly as fun as I thought it could be thanks to our dumb military refusing to arrest and torture my critics. You would be truly shocked to know the legal protections that journalists, minority party members of the legislature, and women accusing me of past sexual assaults have here! I hope you recognize and fully take advantage of your good fortunes to honor all the dictators who came before you without so few checks on power as you have.

Anyway, I was thinking the other day that I wanted to take you under my wing like Vlad took me under his to teach you some dictator-to-dictator tips. So here are some of my most valuable lessons and pieces of advice for a young authoritarian like yourself:

— Always have a “Casual Friday” policy. The women around you show more cleavage when the dress code relaxes at the end of the week.

— Get a fixer. But get a smart one. I thought I had a smart one, but Michael Cohen turned out to be a total moron and rat. He couldn’t even pay a porn star as an illegal, undisclosed campaign donation and get away with it!

— If you have a son, never name him after yourself. Donald Jr. has turned out to be a total loser, and I’m sure he’s going to somehow ruin the Trump…

Dash MacIntyre

Comedian, political satirist, and poet. Created The Halfway Post. Follow THP at twitter.com/HalfwayPost to read my Dada news.